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Will Rogers
Born November 4, 1879.  Died August 15, 1935.  American actor and humorist.

  • I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

  • Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.

  • There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

  • There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and family. Bur he can't make a living for them "and" his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.

  • If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

  • On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

  • Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

  • Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.