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P. J. O'Rourke
American Journalist

  • Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

  • Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues." Either that or just go ahead and determine the presidency with three-legged races and pie-eating contests. It would make better TV.

  • Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

  • Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like Godís infinite mercy, a last resort.

  • The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

  • For the people in government, rather than the people who pester it, Washington is an early-rising, hard-working city. It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

  • The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.